Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful. O Allah! I seek refuge in You from knowingly associating partners with You in any way, and I seek Your forgiveness for that which I do not know. Ameen.

Wife and Parents' Support, Which Comes First?

The Prophet s.a.w. said: "It is enough for a person to be said to have sinned if he withholds food from the person he is dependent on."  [HR.  Muslim no.996]

So it is clear that a married man must always put the interests of his wife and children first and the law regarding husbands not supporting their wives in Islam has also been discussed. And if you are still able to support or help your mother then this is also mandatory because of course being filial to your parents is something that Allah s.w.t. really likes.

And a little addition that Allah s.w.t. does not like excessive things, both for oneself and the environment, as in the following hadith which tells about examples of balance carried out in life,

Abdullah bin Amru bin Ash told me he said;  Rasulullah s.a.w. said: "O Abdullah, I have been told that you fast all day and qiyamullail all night long?" I answered, "That's right, O Messenger of Allah."  He said: “Don't do that.  Fast and also break your fast. Do your qiyamullail but also set aside time to sleep.  Because your body also has rights over you, your eyes also have rights over you and your wife also has rights over you."  [HR.  Bukhari no. 5199]

So the best thing you can do is not put your wife first and forget your mother, but put your wife and children first and then always try to remain filial to your parents, especially your mother, because while they are still in this world, make the most of it by being filial to them, if they are no longer there.  and called by the Creator, then regret will come.

From the explanation above, advice can be drawn to both husbands, wives and parents to always look at the existing circumstances or conditions, so as to be able to create a harmonious atmosphere that does not cause divisions between husband and wife and their parents. Because, as explained in the discussion above, marriage does not mean preventing devotion to parents.

As well as relationships with other relatives, it only adds to the relationship and opens the door to enormous fortune in this life, so that you can maximize it to build a harmonious family and still be able to be devoted to your parents, especially your "mother".  This is the law of prioritizing mother over wife in Islam, hopefully this is useful.

Wallahua'lam.